Category: Reflections
Some Updates!
As I’m typing out this post, I’m juggling doing my wedding favors while finishing up my last assignment for my degree course. I just have to say, THANK GOD FOR MY HELPER ELVES. Everyday, different elves will drop by to rewang and before we know it, we’ve covered 700 pieces within 4 days! Though we’re not even half way (think BIG, THINK 1800 PIECES), I think we’re on a good pace yay! And for all my fellow student BTBs who know how I feel, it’s crazy hard to juggle wedding preps and school. To date, I still have not sent out some invitation cards (yes it’s that bad) and my room is still in a mess.
But I’m happy to say that everything is slowly coming together. Almost done with all of my DIYS; bouquet, hantaran trays, favors, sparklers for send off etc. Decided to have a fresh bouquet in hand too, and where else if not from the awesome possum Kedai Daisy! Diana is such a lovely lady, check out her work at @kedaidaisy! Ordered some headpieces and a sash from China suppliers (hahaha!) for my own outfits and they’re looking goooood! In fact, I bought my favor bags from a similar source and they all came really fast. Have to say that they are really reliable! And it’s really funny how some of my vendors are chasing me for updates. Hahaha terbalik pulak but love them all for their patience. Didn’t expect myself to be such a #relekbride but hey, terpaksa ok??
Finally, due to unforeseen circumstances, H and I were forced to switch our event photographer last month. If you’re wondering why, all I can say that this is not due to the faults or shortcomings of my previous photographer, HNHM Photoworks. This is NOT the case. In fact, they are doing very well breaking into our local industry with their most recent work being Dalillah and Fattah’s wedding! Their works can be seen through the hashtags #thedfwedding or #hnhmphotoworks. So happy for my lovely ladies, Hani (@haneimj) and Hazra (@hazrangah)! Love you ollz and see you at Tanah Lot, maybe??? 🙂
Nor is it a case where I suddenly feel like “jumping ship” and picking another vendor. And so to conclude, my photographer is now…. TAK NAK BILANG BOLEH??? I pun nak secret-secret mcm Cik Ili kita hahaha. Sesiapa yang dah tau boleh tolong tutup mulut sampai lepas 3rd May, terima kasih banyak-banyak. Till the next update!
Food tasting, errands and more errands
So H, my mom and her bestie accompanied me to Gurame the other day for complimentary food tasting and also for a meeting with the events manager, Keith. My mom couldn’t decide between a few dishes, so in the end we requested to taste 11 different dishes, thinking that they would serve the four of us small samples on platter or something. BUT LOOK WHAT THEY BROUGHT OUT OKAY.
KUS SEMANGAT, full-sized servings sepenuh-penuh meja!
The dishes were all so, so good that it was hard to make a selection so we ended up voting hahaha. My mom felt so self-conscious by the onlookers at the next table that she told them, “Jangan salah paham eh dik, ni food tasting. Bukan gelojoh ke apa eh.” MOTHER WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO JUSTIFY YOUR ACTIONS TO STRANGERS. Hahahahaa so cute. But of course the people of Gurame let us pack the leftovers, which was really kind and generous of them. Even when we first came to meet Keith way back for a non-obligatory meet up to find out more about the venue, our entire dinner was on the house that night. SO BAIK I LIKE. And tak berkira when it comes to food, especially with customers.
Which brings me to the part where I was discussing with Keith about the number of pax for my reception. I told him that my dad’s final number is now 1400 pax (yes, kill me now kalau Gurame tak roboh pun tak tau apa nak cakap), so we would have to top up for the extra 400 pax. Keith told us that based on his experience, there will always be leftover food and he didn’t like wastage. So he told us his chefs would prepare food for 1000 pax first and when the need arises, we can top up accordingly because their kitchen has the capacity to prepare extra food on the spot per every 100 pax. Really sweet of him kan! Mana ada vendor nak suruh customer save duit ni??? Alahaiii.
So we left Gurame with huge smiles plastered across our faces, a.k.a perut kenyang hati senang, but not leaving before we snapped some pictures firsttt. I forgot how calm and peaceful the place was, with abang emo at the corner dengan plastic makanan LOL.
Since then, I finally managed to clear out some other wedding necessities like favours, for example, which my parents and I have decided on honey yayyyy! We ordered from the friendly Kak Eza of Divine Favorz, who was quick in responding to our bulk order despite the limited time window. I’m pretty set on drawstring favour bags where the honey goes in, but I’m still browsing through various suppliers so will update once that’s set, loves!!!
Since I’m DIY-ing my hantaran trays and getting Mariah & Sham to do up the bunga pahar/sireh dara sekali so all of them can mitchy-matchy with the dias, I’m only left with bunga rampai. I was searching for reasonably priced bunga rampai vendors (because I’m not prepared to pay $5 per cup like how KS charges), when I found these pleasant little things done up by Kiss Kiss Floreale.
(Source: Kiss Kiss Floreale)
How any more precious can they be right? And Nurl the owner is as equally sweet as her flowers so that that made the transaction so much better! She charges $2-2.50 per cup, with delivery btw, so she’s going to personally deliver to mine and H’s house the morning of our solemnisation to keep the flower scent fresh.
And ohhh, since our solemnisation and reception for my side will be on Day 1 and H’s reception on Day 2, we have a total of 5 outfits for both days. We engaged 3 outfits from WKG and I will be tailoring the other 2; nikah outfit and also evening dress for Day 1. Met up with my tailor/designer/fashion student extraordinaire (thanks Nadiah for recommending your friend <3) and was immediately impressed by his crafty hands doing a dress mock-up on a mannequin with the material I brought.
Can’t wait to see the final product!!!
And I know I’m due to contact photographer/videographer to discuss themes/preferences, musician to set song list, wedding cakestress for cake design etc etc etc, but I JUZ CAN’T. This final semester is killing me really, and I cannot find the time between classes to settle all these things gaaaahhhh.
As The Big Day Draws Closer…
Cabaran bertambah banyak beb.
It’s really no joke. This is the period where it will make your relationship. Or break it. I’ve heard too many stories of couples breaking up only few weeks or days before their wedding, and now I understand why. All the nerves building up, tempers getting shorter, tolerance gets lower, constantly stepping on each other’s toes. Even the smallest things about your partner can tick you off. And somehow, you’ll even find the littlest of faults with your future in-laws. Old flames from the past will reappear (true story) and misunderstandings will be hard to avoid. Deposits need to be paid, which means the financial strain will definitely add to the heat. Then, just like that you realise that you are with the wrong person and you can’t even look at him anymore.
DON’T.
Don’t give in.
Don’t take the easy way out to let off steam on your loved ones.
Don’t succumb to these little challenges arranged by God and executed by the devil to sway you from something as pure as marriage.
DO.
Breathe. Sabar. Reflect. Do’a. Pray. And meet each other less often.
Funny enough, this age old pantang not to meet your partner at least a month before your wedding does hold its benefits and truth. Meeting less means you’d irritate each other less, argue less, pick on each other less. Lesser expectations, lesser shoes to fill.
Rindu? Memang gila babs punya. But at least the heart grows fonder. Kasi chance climax lah sikit ah. Baru boleh menjeling-menjeling atas pelamin kan kan??
Me & H will abstain from meeting each other soon. Wish us all the determination and perseverance in the world not to come running towards each other because Tampines and Pasir Ris is too god damn close okay!!! HAHAHA.
ROMM, Bridesmaids’ Trip and Other Risky Business
So I have to admit, my holidays were pretty fruitful. Managed to clear the 97529432 things on the wedding checklist, including applying for our marriage on the ROMM website and going for the interview. Apart from the early morning drama where H punya bike couldn’t start and me and my dad couldn’t get a queue number till he arrived, I’m glad that everything else went smoothly! The receptionist was nice, he squeezed us into the last, last slot because H arrived exactly at 11.3o a.m. and by right, the last interview should end at that time before commencing again at 2 p.m. After verifying our documents (after which any changes to wali/wakil/venue will incur costs), we met the kadi in-charge one-by-one for a fuss-free interview. Now I have heard stories about this, a friend’s colleague who had to recite the Al-Fatihah, but was so daunted by the kadi she couldn’t even recall it, my own dad was also asked to list the rukun-rukun Nikah during his time. But other than the routine verifying of documents and angkat sumpah (that all the information are true), the only queer question he asked was:
Kadi: Awak ada tunang dengan orang lain?
Me: Hmmm huh? Sekarang eh?
Kadi: Sekarang, dulu. Tak kisah lah bila.
Me: Erm sekarang yang kat luar tu. Sorang sehaja.
Kadi: Okay bagus.
ERM OKAY WHAAAAT?? I don’t get what he was trying to get at, was it whether I was engaged to anyone else before this, or was I engaged to anyone else apart from H (???). Then my dad boleh layankan, because “perempuan tak boleh kahwin lebih dari satu. agaknya dia tengah check kalau you ada tunang lain.” HAHA boleh ke gitu. Don’t worry lah tok, satu je dah tak terlayan hahaha.
So H choose Ustaz Suhaimi for our kadi, who happens to be the imam for Al-Istighfar Mosque and was also Lily’s kadi during her nikah. I remembered him as firm and impactful. How he looked Syafiq in the eye and told him to take care of Lily, how he addressed Lily personally from across the room to be a good wife to Syafiq. I just found him so real, not just reading from a script like most kadis do.
Ustaz Suhaimi at Lily & Syafiq’s solemnisation
(Don’t mind my kaypo face sticking out from the corner hahaha)
Another awesome thing happened over the holiday, and that is my bridesmaids’ trip to Phuket! Which by the way the last trip with friends before the wedding! So I wouldn’t choose any other way to spend it if not with my lovely sayangs, Umairah, Ili & Aisyah (yes, bestie and I have the same name!!)
FYI, these smiles did not last long. Because it was clearly not a beginner’s rapids. (Taken at the Song Phraek River, near Phang Nga province)
And I got to try of these babies.
AWESOME KE PE. Okay sorry jakon. Wahahaha. (Taken at Patong Beach)
I love how the trip got us even closer together. In our free time, like while waiting for our turn for water activities, they would force my procrastinating arse down to talk about boring (but necessary) stuff like the wedding itinerary, helped foresee certain hiccups so that we could remedy them from now and we’d even talk about their favourite bridesmaid dress designs. Oh and somehow, we took turns falling sick on the trip. Dizzy spells, stomach cramps and some of us even took a fall or two. HAHA. But importantly, we were all there to take care of each other and never left anyone behind for any reason. That’s why I know I’m in safe hands with these girls. I can always count on them when the big day comes, and even years to come. Sayang korangs!
(Taken at Maya Bay)
In other business, H and I have started renovating our my room! We are done with Phase 1 and are in the middle of Phase 2 of our room plan!
Phase 1: Take down all existing built-in cupboards and wardrobe. Install new wardrobe and window seat storage.
YES WINDOW SEAT!! This I’m super excited about. I’ve always loved those rooms where you can lounge on the window seat, look out the window or just read a book. Plus, Cik Hussein, a.k.a owner of San Heusen Interior Design Enterprise (he can be contacted at 83583090) designed it in a way that it doubles as storage. Awesome kan! A tiny sneak peak…
This was before the doors and cushions were installed! Btw the streaks of paint on the wall is where my previous built in study table, cupboard was.
Phase 2: Paint existing chest of drawers to white. Paint walls to …. haven’t decided!
So we painted the wooden chest white so it can easily blend into our room no matter what the wall colour will be. H used an oil based paint, based on the recommendations of the shopkeeper. The chest did not have a layer of varnish, so H didn’t have to sand paper the top. But you do if your furniture has varnish over it, if not the paint will not settle. So yeah, I’m only left with wall colour leh. What looks good with white (cupboard, chest, window seat) and grey (bed frame) ehh hmmmmm.
Phase 3: Get other necessities like mirror, bedside table, linens and black-out curtains (because H works night shifts and needs to sleep during the day).
Plan to stalk singsale.com.sg for 1000 thread count bedsheets, they’re on average around $80 per set. Cheap!
On another note, school has started and Week 1 just passed. Which means. 15 weeks to the big day. Can someone tell me where all that time went??? Argghhhhh. Need. More. Time.
Kursus Kahwin Checked!
So H and I attended Suchi Success’s Kasih Sejati marriage course last weekend, together with the MOH, Umairah, and her fiance ,Hafiz. Truthfully, I love that our weddings are only a month apart; because you’ll know there’s always that one girlfriend that totally gets what you’re going through, and give opinions honestly, only because she’s going through the same thing herself. And it’s helpful to have each other to remind ourselves of the tasks we need to complete before the wedding. Including ticking off things off our bucket list like traveling to Japan to see sakuras which we did together earlier this year weeeee. AND when we were seated in our rows, pusing kiri sekali terjumpa BTB cik adik manis Shahera Shaila pulak. Hello hello! Hehe.
Okay back to the kursus. Haha. All three trainers, Ustaz Khair, Ustaz Abdul Jalil and Puan Suriati were effectively influential speakers who were generous in sharing each of their “on the field” experiences with us, which I thought was really useful. One of the most shocking (and disturbing) facts I learnt from them was when three years back, the top reason for marriages to end in divorces in Singapore was due to financial issues, this year the top reason is now infidelity and the presence of a third party in the marriage. Can you believe it. Jauhkan pleeeease.
The programme itself was strategically divided and arranged to three stages; pre-wedding, the wedding itself, and three years after (which is apparently the most trying period). Bila dah petang-petang sikit, start ngantuk please, tapi kena topic macam gini:
Terus terbangun you. If you know what I mean. Hahahaa. There were other activities that involved our active participation and discussion, so when I thought I could just relek one corner, I was wrong okay. Game twister pun ada, but nasib ni only the boys kene main hahaha.
You see that boy yang kena balance on one leg and bau ketiak orang? Yes, that’s H. Hahaha!! Actually dia tak kesian sangat lah because actually there’s another mamat bawah ketiak H, which explains why that mamat doesn’t show up in this picture. Tunang sape ntah. HAHA.
What I loved the most about this course is that we were provided this little handbook as a guide throughout the course, but not only that, it was where we had to write our deepest, darkest thoughts and then exchange with our partners for them to read. Can you imagine the horror, the first time the speaker told us to exchange our books, I just finished writing out all of H’s qualities that I, ehem, don’t quite like. “Part ni awak semua jaga-jaga eh, steam confirm keluar dari telinga punya”, were the wise words of Ustaz Khair. WHICH IT DID OKAY, after I read what H wrote about me, but terus cair when I saw this scribbled at the bottom of the page:
Truce ke pe bang?? Wahaha.
But with this technique, I found that I learnt more about him then I would ever know, his preferences, what he disliked and what annoys him the most about me, all these priceless information that I could not have possibly learnt even if we dated for 10 years before that. I also learnt that there is no perfect relationship, that in reality, those who are successful actually work real hard to make things happen, knowing your duties and responsibilities as a spouse, and to be the best partner for each other. CHEYYY okay lah I won’t bore you with any more nitty gritty details so if you alls nak tau, sign up okay. Kakak highly recommend course ni.
And of course sebelum balik kena amik groupie picture dengan the proud owners of Suchi Success!! Kudos to them for surviving more than 20 years of marriage themselves okay woot wooot!
Oh and look at the goodies that arrived in the mail today! Yummehhhhh. Who wants to guess what I’m up to next?? 🙂
Assalamualaikum Cinta
I really admire couples who give off an aura of calmness and purity during their ceremony. Especially if the bride is sweet and demure, while the groom stands tall and ready to uphold the pillars of marriage in Islam. As I was witnessing the solemnisation of my cousin, Hafiz, an undergraduate of Al-Azhar University in Cairo, and his blushing bride, Izyan, both alumnus of Madrasah Aljuneid and Madrasah Al-Arabiah Al-Islamiah respectively, I couldn’t help but realise how beautiful and long-lasting a marriage could be if it was executed the Islamic way.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” – Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21.
Here are some stills from their wedding montage video that will make you melt at their sweetness ( I know I did… :)) :
Very “Aku Terima Nikahnya” / “7 Petala Cinta” worthy scenes!
And I love how the videographer added beautiful quotes from the Quran in between pictures like this:
When they performed their first prayers together as imam and makmum.
Such a beautiful couple, really. Congrats and welcome to the family, Izyan! The full video montage can be viewed below:
(Source: my.lens.of.love.photography)
Let us all prepare ourselves to be the best muslimah we can, so that when the time comes, we are ready to stand by our husband’s side and accompany him on the right path, because as how our Prophet s.a.w. said, “When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah s.w.t in the remaining half.” – Al-Bayhaqi.
Another Accidental Bride 